assalamu'alaikum...:)

kadang-kadang Allah sembunyikan matahari.....
Dia berikan petir n kilat....
kite tertanye2..kmane hilangnye matahari...
rupe2 nye...Dia bg kite pelangi...

sllu kite bersangka buruk...
"knapa aku??" knapa msti aku"??..." knapa dlm rmai2..AKU??"
Astaghfirullah...
oh Allah..forgive me when i whine....
ni nasehat utk diri sy sndri..

jgn merasa sangsi...
stiap kali di uji...
Allah x akan uji dgn sesuatu yg kite x mmpu tanggung...

ikhlas n sabar..
susah sgt 2 perkara ni...slagi kte bersih kan hati kte...
tp..ni la yg kte nak dlm stiap perkara yg kte lakukan..
so.....bersangka baik lah dgn sang pencipta :)

wallahualam :)

what happen to meee...

pelik btol la...since pg td..
gatal2 keliling bibir...merah2..
mcm rashes
pastu pedih2...

mcm my skin inflammed..
tp yg pelik nye nape kat bibir je
mmg da try minimize menggaru2..
tp involuntary action..huuh

skrg die da naik mcm bintik2 besar..rashes ...merah warnenye..
tp nak kate infection...aku rase ak mnjalankan sgale safety precaution..
steril memanjang..heee
tiap kali handle patient..msti cuci tgn or gune antiseptic gel...
nak kate sbb lip gloss..ak x pkai gloss pun pg ni..
allergy kat face wash>? b4 ni pkai x de pape pun..
hmm..risau lak..
nk jmpe doc..malas...ermmm..

rimas nye :(

ni baru dugaan kecik...Ya Allah bantu lah hamba Mu yg lemah ini..

i just cant take it anymoreeeee....:(

hmmm...

basically its very hard to adapt...
but practically...no choice..

physically...i cant take it anymore....
but mentally.....i have to ...im sure...

actually...is not that easy....
but definetly...it takes time for me...

finally i ve to adjust ...
but surely i will...coz ive trust...


ni la ape yg dpt d luah kan utk hari ni..tekanan yg teramat..
tp insyaAllah..akan d setel kan =)

kdg2 dlm life kite x dpt ape yg kite expect...even dah well-planned..
sbb..Allah has a bigger plan 4 us...

suka disayangi??? atau rela di benci????? hmm..

its better to b hated for who u r than to b love for what u r not?

hmm..mane 1 yg korg rase lebih baik....
mmg org kate jdi dri sendiri...tp...kalo menjadi diri sendiri 2 wat rase org sekeliling x senang mcmne....

nak ke kite di benci d sbb kan prangai kite sendiri...??
tp nak ke kite di sayangi krne berpura2 jadi "somebody"....??

in my life ive found both kinda person...
maksud sy di sini...1) someone yg suke sgt jadi diri die..
2) sgt berpura2...
tp dcni sy mention.no ones perfect..n of course we wont b able to satisfy everyone in this world..

so..someone yg ske sgt jadi diri nye ni...die x kan kesah ape org nak ckp...
"whateverrrr"....n plus...die akan wat ape yg die rase btol...
instead of jage hati org...tp die sgt telus....

kalo yg 2nd type ni pulak....kite taw die mmg bukan die..means..die berpura2..
tp rmai org syg die sbb "acting" nye yg superb tu...

so....it depends..pade cara penerimaan kite terhadap pandangan org...
kte hdup kat muke bumi ni bukan sorg2...kne jage hati n prasaan org lain..
ye...kdg2 perlu sikit berpura2 tu...bukan utk tujuan mengampu or mnipu ( bpade2 la) tp..utk wat org skeliling kite rase slesa..
ble org rase slesa..die akan doakan yg baik2 utk kite...

n utk org yg suke sgt berterus trang n rela dirinye d benci ...
x salah menjadi diri sendiri.....tp pikir la....akibatnye d kmuadian hari :)

sntiase berfikiran positif...good day:)

sabar ati....sabar..

uwaaaa :((

ni je yg dpt aku ucap kan..
sesungguhnye hati ni terase amat perit skali...
jantung ku berdegup kencang....laju ....
lidah ku kelu...
p/s simptom2 d atas adelah simptom2 org yg sakit hati terlampau..

dah x dpt nak describe...btape pedih nye rase...apabila...
asek DC je ....ble nak connect balik punye la sikse...
then tgh sedap mnaip..ttibe..tup!!! DC lg.
even dah connect pun still mcm sipot...
sunnguh wahai celcom broadband..dikau menguji keimanan ku..

ni baru 2nd day kat cni..da rase mcm kebakaran hati berlaku.huhu
bomba pun xleh padam..
apo nak di kato...ive to face this..:(
tensionnnn........

assalamu'alaikum wbt...

hmm...next monday start la my clinicals kat hosp tapah.....
slame 2 bulan++....i just cant describe my feelings...bercampur baur.huhu
so..within this 2 months, i ll b staying at my roomate's house in bidor..
sume nye best alhamdulillah...family die best...aku je yg hampeh..haha
tp ni ha...si berokbang a.k.a broadband (sumber perkataan -syapik) wat hal lak..
mmg slow gilerrrr....just imagine..i need 15 minutes to open my yahoo mail......
tp xpe..sabo2....

at least ade gak signal..dr langsung tade...alhamdulillah :)
ade gak la sumber peneman d kala sunyi..slain dari tepon yg x henti2 bebunyik..
which means pnggilan dari my beautiful mummy or my gorgeous dad.. ( ni xde tujuan mengampu ye) haha...xpun adik pempuan aku yg claim hadiah pen glitter kaler2 yg aku jnjikan...xpun adik laki aku yg claim buku harry potter (bnyk sungguh janji2 manis yg aku tabur kan) kah3..

nearly 4 minggu x balik..mmg rekod terpanjang la...no wonder la aku ade hometown syndrom yg sgt kritikal...tiap hari x terkire bpe kali aku call mak aku...heheh...aku mmg homesick..

patutnye skrg bz wat assgnment yg mmg x terkire bnyk nye...tp blagak cool..mcm tgh bercuti..hihih..ha..ckp psl cuti..jeles btol kat clzmet2 yg clinical kat tluk intan..oooo korg dpt cuti smggu ye..x yah gnti lak tu..jeles btul...huhu...tp skurang2 nye aku bebas dari cengkaman skill lab kat bwh tanah tu..hahha..ampun2!!

what?? sUrGeRy?? noooooooooooooooooo

assalamualaikum wbt....



ermm...ttbe rase nak mnulis..mybe coz d belenggu rase bosan...

saje je fisr post nk cite psl my experienced....i think its a gr8 experienced 4 myself..

n its about operation...phewww...

ive been diagnosed with 2 dsease.arnold chiari malformation n sryngomylea.n one of them need a surgery..

hmm..mule2 tu..mmg xnak sgt2...

sbb dlu2 pnh ckp...i wont do any surgery in my whole life..aku rela mati dari kne operate2 nih..skali mmg kne btg idung sendiri.. operate kepale lak tu..
tp according to my parents,fmily n friends...sume suro buat..sbbnye da 5 taun x jmpe punca..
so..setelah berfikir.....berbincang...decison pun da d buat..

actually kat cni..xnak la cite psl surgery 2 sgt...

cumenye...aku nak mention...org2 yg bnyk bg support time 2.. i wont forget all of u definetly...

-first of all is my parents...mak ayah...mmg ati xtaw cmane nak balas sume ni..with each of every tears that ive seen or that both of u ve been hide from me..

n the care n love..mak yg x tido mlm sbb jage ati kat wad..ayah who always lend me ur shoulders n wipe my tears.yg x henti2 berdoa..yg tuggu berjam2 kat lua OT.mmg x terbalas...even aku berkhidmat utk diorg sepanjang hayat..u r so special to me..i love u mak...i love u ayah..thanks n sorry for always giving u lots of toubles n worries..



-then...my other family members..my siblings..yg mmg sgt2 memberi sokongan..
both of my bro n sis..sorry ye kak ngah ganngu korg nak exam this year...
n abg ku..thanx due to ur effort...jauh2 dtg jgk ...i love u my bros n cute little sis..



-makcik2 n pakcik2 yg sllu amik berat....esp my beloved wancik..yg bnyk bersusah pyh utk ati..thanx :) yg masuk ke bilik OT skali..who always giv me confidence...mmg rase mcm mak sendiri..even smpai skrg ak still bnyk susa kan die..n sllu die update aku..mmg wancik nurse yg sejati :) ..n to pak teh..thanx 4 the wheel chair yg ak tpakse gune kan kesane kmari..hehe



-all my uncles n aunt yg visit me b4 n after my operation..mse kat icu...
thanx thanx thanx a lot..x dpt nk mention sume..yg rmai2 dtg dari perlis... even xde tmpat nak stay n tpakse tnggu berjam2..thanx :)



-n to my friends..........to my rumet ..zatil hidayah bt. zahdi...cewah..wlaupun fius nye x brape btul..die la org yg sgt2 bnyk mmbantu aku.. sllu tman g hospital..even tpakse ponteng clz (ala..tp die suke je monteng..haha)..guau je
..lg...tman aku gi fisio..utk pengetahuan sume..ak ni mmg degil..bak kate kwn aku ni "ko ni,sedegil2 umat"..huhu..bab mkn ubat..wat fisio..die le yg bnyk uruskan..sllu dpt hadiah cadbury ( ni la the best moment) weeee..
thanx merul..mse ak down..ko mmg bnyk tlg..ttbe je ayat sastra ko kuar..psl jase mak ayah la...bla bla bla..u r the gr8test fwen ever..wlaupun ko rock2..aku taw ko syg aku..lallalalalalaaa...n thnx gak sbb mereply sms kwn2 aku yg kat obersea tu..even it is costly..hehe



-kwn2 lain yg g mlawat..ade yg support gune sms sbb jauh..antare kwn2 kolej prubatan yg g mlawat : syapik (thanx ye..siap buah anggur skali..n mlm b4 operate pun die ade bg sms ..tq) ....kak norul (time kaseh la dtg mlawat ye)..

ijah,wani,n naveena.... (thanx even korg bz ngan openday...n wani sempat lagi gossip2 aku ngan saad yg sengal tuh..sib baik mse 2 aku kurang upaye, kalo x mmg da mkn bucu katil dah )..hmm..ha!! enab ngan tam :D thanx ye..n sorg lg....cuzin merul yg bername tirah..hihi.. die susa2 dtg ngan merul b4 opration..jmpe kat kolej..dpt adiah "dice besar" taw..thanx :) thanx gak utk kwn yg support thru sms mcm ija...anaz...kak zira...n byk lg la ..sorry if x dpt nak mention kat cni..lg..senior2 dari course aku yg g mlawat ..maaf la x igt da sape sbb rmai sgt..hehe



- haa..yg ni sungguh spesial...kdatangan awe n mimi..n anis..ngehehe..
taw le cmane nak ucap time kaseh kat puak2 nih..haha..hmm..
actually terharu...sbb jauh2 diorg dtg..mimi dari ganu..awe dari go go gombak..
ni la kwn2 seangkatan mse wat law dlu..tp mreke still dgn law..oleh krane mrk mmiliki kesabaran ..haha.mse g mlawat aku sempat lg diorg menghasil kan lwk sengal diorg tuh...nak ktawe..tp thn je..thanx ye awe..mimi...bnyk support.. dila syg korg sgt2 :)



-eh..n x lupe gak kpade spupu2 ..esp tiqah..yg bnyk support..chatting..sms..yg sedia mendengo luahan hati ,keluh kesah..eceh..n kpade pakcik hasyim n famili yg g mlawat kat hotel mlm tu...oh yee.....kak mai...cayang kak mai... yg bwk kan bubur sllu sbb mknn kat ospital mcm *tuttttt*..kah3...tanx ye akak.. lg ..kak asma' n suaminye..kak jem yg call ati..tp mse 2 ati x larat nak ckp..hehe..sowy kak jem..n cuzin2 ku yg lain2 lg..



-n last but not least..medical team yg wat operation..yg jage b4 n after operation... Mr. Cheang yg gile2 -neurologist yg wat operation 2..(ade ke die suh aku blari the day after wat operation tuh,.haha) pastu Dr. Kavita yg cantik n caring..Dr. Kavita is pakar bius.. then..Dr. Adrian yg cumel... yg bnyk bg support..ha...nurse2 kat ICU ...kat daily care unit..n dkt wad 2c...sume caring n loving ..wahhh..:D...thanx ye..



*p/s- ni la the best yg boleh sye retrieve dlm memori ni..kalo ade name yg tercicir sorry ye...

~~tp da mcm tulih surat wasiat je..haha~~