i wonder how...how can i forget u :(((((

when life is full of misery, what do we need most...??..............

i hav pain in my heart....cant u see it.....

i am speechless,my heart is too tired for words.. n silence  is the loudest cry...my life is over
shud start a new life...thinking to go somewhere ..far..alone..
just cant live here n pretend that everythin is ok...
tired of being me

its so beautiful and makes u wanna cry...

..................................................................................................

6 years living and survivng with SM/CM...

 its been a year after my post surgery..
and 6 years living and surviving with SM/CM...and im still breathing!! alhamdulilah..being diagnosed with Syringomyelia with Chiari Malformation..life isnt that easy...
everything was change..im not the same person 6 years back..when i was 16..
yes..its been 6 years im suffering from SM/CM...seriously as a normal person,sometimes i do feel so down ..
i cant jump and run and play like i used to be..
im started to think will i be able to get marry?...whats my future will be...?
not even a day i can live without pain..im not whining.. i know there must be a reason why god chose me..
its pretty tough to make pple understand bout my disease..and its not acutally a disease, it is an abnomal disorder..which is...unable to be cured..
but for some people,they think that im exaggerating.. 
i do feel scared to think bout my future...but for now..i m trying to make myself happy..
i hang out with my family and friends.. avoiding myself to think that im sick
i tried.. but having pain everyday....makes me feel terrible sometimes.. 
but i will be strong..


im so lucky..i hav a very understanding ,caring dad..
he is the one who always encourage me..he can actually know whenever im not feeling well..
mum n dad..there's something i cant say face to face..
thank you for doing so much for me..
thank you for always encouraging me..
and for always being by my side..thank you..
im SO SORRY for all the troubles and worries...

everyday im fighting against myself...

Even with all this pain and drama, stress and trauma..... I am blessed mom n dad ,THANK YOU..and im sorry i cant give anything in return...

at some point.....

im not asking u to take my pain away..neither to stay by my side n take care of me...
but i just want u to understand....atleast....
reality is too cruel...too brutal... n im not strong enough to face it :((