when life is full of misery, what do we need most...??..............

i hav pain in my heart....cant u see it.....

i am speechless,my heart is too tired for words.. n silence  is the loudest cry...my life is over
shud start a new life...thinking to go somewhere ..far..alone..
just cant live here n pretend that everythin is ok...
tired of being me

its so beautiful and makes u wanna cry...

..................................................................................................

6 years living and survivng with SM/CM...

 its been a year after my post surgery..
and 6 years living and surviving with SM/CM...and im still breathing!! alhamdulilah..being diagnosed with Syringomyelia with Chiari Malformation..life isnt that easy...
everything was change..im not the same person 6 years back..when i was 16..
yes..its been 6 years im suffering from SM/CM...seriously as a normal person,sometimes i do feel so down ..
i cant jump and run and play like i used to be..
im started to think will i be able to get marry?...whats my future will be...?
not even a day i can live without pain..im not whining.. i know there must be a reason why god chose me..
its pretty tough to make pple understand bout my disease..and its not acutally a disease, it is an abnomal disorder..which is...unable to be cured..
but for some people,they think that im exaggerating.. 
i do feel scared to think bout my future...but for now..i m trying to make myself happy..
i hang out with my family and friends.. avoiding myself to think that im sick
i tried.. but having pain everyday....makes me feel terrible sometimes.. 
but i will be strong..


im so lucky..i hav a very understanding ,caring dad..
he is the one who always encourage me..he can actually know whenever im not feeling well..
mum n dad..there's something i cant say face to face..
thank you for doing so much for me..
thank you for always encouraging me..
and for always being by my side..thank you..
im SO SORRY for all the troubles and worries...

everyday im fighting against myself...

Even with all this pain and drama, stress and trauma..... I am blessed mom n dad ,THANK YOU..and im sorry i cant give anything in return...

at some point.....

im not asking u to take my pain away..neither to stay by my side n take care of me...
but i just want u to understand....atleast....
reality is too cruel...too brutal... n im not strong enough to face it :((

its bout to over~~~

salam...
its been awhile i didnt update my blog..well..kinda busy ..but now totally free..hehee
tmrow is my last day...im going into a new phase of my life.....
a phase where i hav to be more stronger...wiser...n know how to deal everythin by myself..
im 22!! im still young to be an employee..huhu
i want to stay as a student...forever...i ll miss lecturer hall...notes n books ..even i dun really like it previously..heee
rite now im not sure wheather i can do it or not...still waiting for my final year result...will i pass my clinical exams? im pretty sure bout written paper.. insyaAllah..hopefully i ll pass..coz theres few pple who keep praying for me..for all this while...credits to all of them...
~ thanks to my parents who always support..n understanding...
~ thanks for someone who hav to pick up my call at late nite just bcoz to tell im nervous for my next paper..huhu..sorry n thnx..it happen in every semester...my heart-warmer ^_^

last bt not least.............................
saturday im going homeee..for a week....then will come back for a week....for induction.....
then will ve a long vacation...
so sleppy.....valate...
nyte 2 all...
salam..